I bet you’re just as surprised with my post consistency. *shamefully shrug-laughs* Well here’s a better SURPRISE! This week anticipate not one, not two, but three post!
I thought I’d share a series of posts all inspired by the concept of Introspection. When I initially started this blog in 2015, I wrote bi-weekly reflection post in conjunction with a yoga course I was taking at DePaul. This was one of the first times where I was journaling my thoughts and practicing my introspective skills. Journaling to this day has been one of my favorite forms of self-care and accountability. Journaling has also allowed me to develop the comfortability to sit with my thoughts and self-evaluate my actions and feelings. The outcome in doing so has helped me stay in constant conversation with myself and the world.
This past week, I accepted a job offer for a new opportunity that aligns very well with my career aspirations. But the decision-making process required A LOT of time, sitting with my thoughts.
Considering to leave my current position, applying for opportunities and evaluating my market value was not easy. The process itself helped me realize the value of introspection and how undervalued this particular concept is in today’s world. A world where every decision you make is made easy for you with just one finger click, concepts such as brainstorming, strategizing, or reflecting have become a difficult task.
(WOKE THOUGHT ALERT: I truly believe that the lack of utilizing our innate ability to be introspective has disabled our abilities to connect, create and survive.)
If you’re still wondering what is Introspection anyways, I recommend reading Why Introspection Is Crucial For All? The term introspection can be used to describe both an informal reflection process and a more formalized experimental approach that was used early on in psychology’s history. When you are in the act of examining your own thoughts, emotions, and memories and their meaning, you are engaged in introspection.
To this point, for this week’s article, I wanted to continue from where I left off last week on the topic of accountability. This self-interview process is something I already do in my personal journaling. Some of the questions I’ve taken from tools provided by my own therapist and some are inspired by other wonderful posts such as Thrive: An Interview with Arianna Huffington, Eat Move Sleep: An Interview With Tom Rath, How to Make Peace With Others’ False Perception of You.
- What has post-grad life been like?
- I once read how people go through depression post-grad and I always found it interesting because I assumed people would be excited to be finally done with school. Outside of academics, I wasn’t considering all the extra experiences college has to offer. In my experience, post-grad has offered me more time, which honestly I don’t think I’ve used productively. I definitely feel like post-grad life, despite how fortunate I feel to have a career, has left me with a lot of questions. I have felt like I’m not doing enough these past 5 months, but then again, it’s only been 5 months since I graduated. (laughing-but-serious) I need to continue telling myself to slow down. Looking back at the last 5 months, I think life itself has told me to slow down. There’s no rush.
- In your current relationships, how have you recently dealt with conflict?
- There’s been a theme when it comes to conflict that I’ve experienced in both my platonic and romantic relationships. Both accountability and internalization is something I’ve been dealing with. I’ve learned to be more productive about approaching situations. To be less reactive, or at least try to be. This has helped me stay accountable for my actions & others. A good example is my relationship with my boyfriend. Our relationship has never been conventional to start. So there’s been a lot of adjusting from both our ends these past four years. But what’s helped me get through our most recent conflicts is setting boundaries and holding each other accountable for our actions. We really do value honesty in our relationship and being less reactive has helped me open up more about how I feel. Instead of disconnecting myself from the relationship because I don’t want to address how I feel, I literally sit down with him and force myself to tell him how I feel. I don’t react anymore, I just address it. Same with my platonic relationships. I’ve burned some bridges with a handful of friends in my past because I just wasn’t ready to comfort how they were making me feel and I also didn’t want to admit my wrongs. There are some friendships I look back and wish I could have had a more productive conversation instead of disconnecting myself. Most recently, I practiced this with my best friend and I felt good knowing that despite how uncomfortable/not easy it was, we at least said how we felt. It’s very uncomfortable, but sometimes we have to do things that make us uncomfortable in order to get the best results.
- How do you let go of concern?
- This is something I am still trying to figure out but honestly, having this blog helps. I’ve had so much feedback recently about the topics I’ve addressed and it feels good to know that there are people out there who deal with the same thing. I don’t write for a sense of validation. I do it because I want to be in constant conversation with myself AND the world. In doing so, I remind myself that my thoughts are valid but they’re not always true. With my anxiety, in particular, it’s so easy for me to get wrapped up in my concerns. I see memes about it and yeah they’re funny, but living with it is real af. But that’s what it is, real. I can’t escape my reality. All I can do is get better at coping with how I feel.
- How do you live a well-rounded life while equally pursuing both your professional and personal dreams?
- This is something I recently had to evaluate heavily. After my grandmother’s passing, I realized how much we take life for granted. It’s very easy to get comfortable with a routine and it’s just as easy to escape that routine with quick access to things like alcohol and drugs. I started noticing my life was becoming that. I wasn’t really happy with my job and I was looking forward to the weekend to go out and drink. But then I would regret it and do it all over again the next week. Working long hours Monday-Friday and then trying to do everything at once Saturday & Sunday was spreading me thin. Not to mention, I wasn’t feeling fulfilled. So I had to think about where I envisioned myself a year from where I was and I realized I was not going to be there if I continued what I was doing. So I quit my job and found something else that aligned with what I want to do, taking a chance on “Will this Pay More?” I’ve also taken on new hobbies and I’m working on cultivating my discipline. I recognized that what I need in my life is more self-dedication. With discipline, life has more fulfilling value. Nothing feels better than putting hard work into something and seeing results.
- How have you dealt with the overwhelming process of having a healthy lifestyle?
- It’s overwhelming, but it’s a lifestyle. With that said, even if you have one bad day (even though those don’t exist) you have tomorrow to do better. Again, it’s all about discipline and I want to get better.
- What are you most hopeful about before 2019 end? What are you looking forward to in 2020?
- I’m looking forward to the new chapter I’m about to start in my career. It’s a nice way to end 2019 in my mind. What I look forward to next year are the memories I want to create. But I’m also not in a rush. I just want to make sure I’m in a better place mentally.