This summer I took the initiative of seeking and visiting a new therapist. Not only has this experience helped me navigate through the trauma I’ve had the difficulty of letting go, but it’s also forced me to understand my perspective on relationships, sexuality, feminity, and race. As I’ve taken some time to just live life, I also revisited old drafts of poems and recreated these pieces.
The past, present, and future are constantly in dialogue. They meet when I take the time to reflect. They force me to extract inspiration from my surroundings and appreciate life for what it is and less for what it “should” be.
I encourage you to do the same. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, unravel yourself and enjoy your process of reconstruction. Thank you to my beautiful friends Amy, Lydia, Natalie, and Vanessa and all the beautiful women who have inspired me throughout this process. This one is for you.
At midnight la loba sale a comer,
Pero a la Luz del día, ella se esconde detrás de sus sombra.
Afraid to see her reflection, a selfie she will never take.
Despite how much she hides behind her deadpan,
Como muertos caen a sus pies.
The silhouette of her body allures you into her spell,
making you irresistible to her stare.
She struts as the moon paves her way,
while men shout in heat,
“If looks could kill!”
“Una diabla de mujer!”
Even the strong woman deserve a love so strong, it breaks her.
ya me artaste.
I wanna lock myself in the bathroom with the shower on
pretend to miss your call and say that “I was busy.”
I wanna cut my hair and die it blonde,
and if we run into each other in public,
I pretend to be my long-lost-twin sister Vanessa.
I wanna go out with my girls and dance un perreo sucio en La Placita,
while I wail TE BOTE along with the beaming speakers.
I wanna pretend I’m Mujeres Assesinas; feed you to the dogs.
I wanna throw my pager out the window,
tell MCI to cut the phone calls,
block your number, or maybe just turn off my read receipts…
YA ME ARTASTE!
“Un dia, cuando nos encontremos, te quiero pedir una disculpa.”
Underneath the tungsten sun,
she rides through the heat waves down Ocean Dr.
Ella es una mujer sincera y grita
Gregarious with a scent of coconut and palm trees all year round.
Her smile is bright and crooked, even J.Cole would sing about it.
When she speaks she gives direction; a whiff of her confidence fills your soul.
Doe like with a lioness deamonr.
She is everything and more.
She is cold showers in the summertime; brings you back to life.
I take cold showers in remembrance of what I was once like.
I know you’ve been here before
Crossfaded with Mark Twain
I saw it in your eyes
the slip of your lips
It reminded me
searching for an easy tomorrow with curiosity on my lips
I told myself tonight would be different because that’s what we deserved
Acknowledgment at its finest
Sweet nectar on your curves
A kiss on the lips
Two fingers with a switch
Unforgettable, I’ll admit
Like a virgin on her first time
Empowered is what I felt
as I gazed at your elegance
“You’re a goddess” I whispered
“I’m a queen” you whimpered
Scream to the heavens I begged
And there a proclamation I made,
that a queen you shall be,
My Cherie Amour, pretty little one that I adore